We never stop learning

Dear ever-steadfast,

My days are numbered in your hands. On my time however, I feel the numbers in passing days are slowing down, for this moment atleast. I know I shouldn’t even tweak in dissatisfaction. These are the days I have been looking forward to, earnestly, the days I worry of nothing; stress free; having not a burden on the shoulders.

You are a good God. I’m sure that if its really for me to take up a career in your service then you must let me know. I remember confessing to you in my prayer that I would be comfortable doing anything you ask of me. I wouldnt mind any path that lay ahead. If it is for me, I want to remember now not the thoughts ‘ I’m so scared ‘ pounding in my thoughts, ’cause I’m really excited now.

One of the following days from my return home from Youth Enrichment School, I was eating dinner with my dad. The three things he asked me to list, the things I learnt in that two weeks. One, I said, I learnt that we have many, many flaws. As much as we’re christians. Even a pastor can turn a blind sight to favourtism, unintentionally in my presumption. My character is of phlegmatic. And my flaw accordingly is that I let things go easily. I let the team finish and solve the puzzle, who needs me in that over-crowded table? I put up walls no one has the keys to, and cover them in ivy so no one will come nearby unless I put them above and push open the doors, only to shut them and drop the leafy curtains when I find people who to me have enough friends to go by.

Ive learnt that Christianity and Ministry is very much applicable as a career as any other the world has so overrated. And it, to me makes more sense as I don’t work for a life I will lose in the end, but on the other hand, I earn a life so much more than my own now.

Ive learnt that I might have a calling from the Almighty to whom I used to call undeserving-me. I took time to realize that I didnt have much self esteem, and gave it away. My confidence is in you, not in myself, I repeat. I know now I should be merciful when others do wrong against me or to others, and give them chances; more than one for most. To make way for love, especially the true one that allows us to shine. And, talking too much isn’t beneficial at all. Sooner or later if we say too much we end up making more mistakes, and its easier for others to find fault in us.

Ive found the loveliness of the Lord in the morning, when we draw strength from Him.

There isn’t anything I stop learning from my Lord, day after day may more flowers blossom as the glory of God reveals its illumination.

 

its good to be back.

 

wernLei