Hair for thought.

I detest crinkly hairs on my head.

Those hairs that don’t fall soft on your head but stick out, and worst, form a wiry pattern. Then there are some that end on a pointed tip or split end.

Like a mad person I’d grab scissors and cut of any rough or any out of place hairs. The mad part is how long I’d sit there staring at the mirror doing that, even how hot it got. Just eyes straining on sticks of hair for hours.

I guess partly its because I dyed my hair, thrice already with those cheap type -that turned out not so cheap- at home dyes. The mistakes you make, when you don’t pay attention. And growing out damaged brown hair is ugly especially since at that time I was also using heat on my hair any time I wanted.

But you know, you put on heat protecting spray and u get a good curler so you won’t damage your hair like it so tells you won’t happen. And still, you find yourself stuck with dry, spoilt hair and there’s nothing treatments and masks can do to fix it. It’s too late, why didn’t you take better care right? Like everybody already said, cause they did.

And now, you just have to cut it off.

Even after cutting, still funny hairs stuck out my head. So, I’d pull them out if I didn’t have scissors. It’s an obsession,really. Why can’t I just leave them. Am I that sensitive to the change one miserable hair does when its not there?

There’s one thing I realized some time ago, and any dummy would. That people leave you, all the time and more rampant as you age. Or you just do it yourself, like cutting away crinkly hairs. Its the easiest and fastest solution. Cut and its gone.

But then, isn’t it ironic cause the more I cut, the more time my hair will take to grow longer. Then, am I actually stunting growth or helping it?

I’d cut my hair shorter if I could, so I don’t have to see unwanted things. However an easy remedy that is to my problem, it isn’t the smartest. The question I ask myself is, why can’t I just be okay with it? Am I not okay.

And then I know the answer.

Holding my head up, cause being weak is nothing to be ashamed of.