Goodbye, June

Dear you,

          Its been awhile. 

And I’m sorry. I’ve been wrapped up in work, 6 days a week. Full days and half days and sales and staying till 130am. Days that I get so worn out and caused me to fall sick, days I speed to work and nights I drive home bleary eyed. Always say yes, but important things like jobs can stand hesitance and time to ponder over, numerously. I miss my friends, I miss my family, I miss out on things and I don’t have time for you, not even for myself.

University acceptance results are coming out soon. I, can’t do anything but to tell myself to trust -Just please trust and know that it will be good. I’ve wanted and waited for this for so long, its finally here and I’m ..I won’t even say it. My only chance. You will deliver, I know you will.

Still, its not only hard times. Because you know, you are wonderful. I’ve had all good bosses, so good. Who reward me, teach me and are willing to share abit of themselves or more. Bosses who read character and actually see me, like I’m transparent and celebrate the person I am. Eventhough work is still work, the colleagues have been good friends. 

Surprisingly, out of everything and the 2 workplaces I’ve stayed longer in, its not from the work or field of work that I’ve gained most from. Rather, the understanding of people there. Learning about characters in an environment, there’s some who are simply put it -bad, but they can’t help themselves and are the sorriest of the lot. And some who need help the most but will never ask for it. Then there are those whose characters exceeds others, usually the manager; upright, observant, a person of integrity, but sadly a one-man-show because they trust those closest whom often aren’t reliable. 

One last thing, I just noted in my mind one day that when I do love it will be for unselfish reasons. I think we all forget that, what love really is..

“Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.  And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.  And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing.

 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;  does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;  bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

 Love never fails. But whether there are prophecies, they will fail; whether there are tongues, they will cease; whether there is knowledge, it will vanish away.  For we know in part and we prophesy in part.  But when that which is perfect has come, then that which is in part will be done away.

 When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.  For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known.

 And now abide faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”

Just from one of my favourite books.

 

Goodnight and goodbye.

Lei