2013

Kinda not want to admit to the weird and slightly bubbly
feeling I have (no its not gas) from it being the end of the year, but I guess it does really feel weird.

2013 has been a transitional year.
Completely no school for 8 out of 12 months. I went for my first visit to Cambodia and we were on missions to help the kids. I found out I had a heart for little kids I never knew i had. And then the next few months I was working, A clerk at a law office, A salesgirl at a major retail outlet, A private tutor to a smart and brilliant spiderman, A helper at a two very different tuition centre chains, and A helper at a friend’s firm. I learnt alot from work, the bitter and the sweet. Only regrettable thing is I lost alot of time just relaxing and being a 19 year old and being that with my friends -especially that.

Went tru a weird phase in my love-life, and came out of it smarter and more patient, happy while being patient. Yep thats right!
Found out I got into USM, said my goodbyes and cried only to come back realizing how happy Uni life makes me. Its going to be the fourth month here, and probably thts why ending the year now feels so weird . Because I just got started!

God has been good to me, our relationship has sometimes took a back road to my ambitious plans..but I always know where I am is and has always been directed by him. Happiness comes and goes but pure joy in my heart remains. Im thankful for my family and wonderful friends old and new, and for every new day Im given.

Here’s to 2014, to turning 21 and embarking on my studies in Major of Anthropology and Sociology. To saying yes more often, to getting involve in more political debates, to being a better and more loving friend and sister, a better child to my parents and a confident woman of God.

Lei

He knows.

One day if you ask, i’ll tell you all about it.

But for now, this is briefly what Ive learnt from my experience with this one person.

1. I met someone, a guy
2. Blew me away (mature, smart, different, Passionate about people and politics! and the list goes on..)
3. Still continually impresses me the more I talk to him
4. Is unique to other Malays (yes he is a bumiputera)
5. Religious, but not extremist

What Ive learnt?
God is good, and eventho this guy is amazing I know for sure this cant be it. We both agree that race isnt important, whats really important is religion. Thats one big thing that divides but ironically also what makes us who we are -And probably why we like each other (in a sense of respecting each other’s opinion and admiring one another). So no, im not going that way. Because even I want this guy’s best, and he’s going to meet a lucky girl one day.

Don’t settle, there is a guy for me. I dont have exceedingly high expectations to meet, mind you this guy is from a small town in the outskirts of Pahang. More than that, a Malay. It is the mind ;of yearning for knowledge and the spirit; of humility, wisdom and maturity. That, is so attractive in a man.
I never wanted to write about this, because its my secrets revealed.
But then i think about it and realize no matter who you are, its not you or me that destines the future. God sets one for another. He knows, God knows. And till then, my job is to grow as a woman of faith and trust trust trust.

And so for now, being single is an asset. *winks

Belong

Three months is probably enough.

Enough for me to know that I belong here. Here in usm, in Penang, but most of all that I belong here where my life is aligned to God’s will.

It may be awhile after thanksgiving, still I’m so thankful to God. As Christians that’s probably what we do so often, Thank God!! Even when things don’t work out we do it and it actually would sound absurd to others.

There is a fulfilment living a life dedicated to God. Simply, I’m happy. And even if I get sad, there’s more happiness in my life to come. There’s hope if I live the way God wants me to. Because it’s not just life -not just day in day out. It’s going up and up and beyond what maybe you might thought of for your life.

For the things I don’t know, I have faith that it is being taken care of. And for the things I have, I rely on God’s wisdom so I will take care of them better.

Life is meaningless, and it’s something we think to ourselves sometimes. It is for me when it’s not with Jesus. 20 years of my life later in which only the past 6-7 years with knowing God, and only now I know I actually need him! Cause really, life gets empty when the laughter fades and the friends leave and family isn’t there. When money is only a means to get something you’re happy with for awhile.

Think about it.

I have no victories, no mansions, no car, no love life (yet) but I have so much to be thankful for. And my joy is deep within me.

Thank you, Jesus.

Lei