La vie ne vaut d’être vécue sans amour

Had the pleasure of sharing the gospel to my French professeur today.

He’s been my teacher for probably one and a half semester, about 6 months plus minus. I took a minor in French in my first sem with a good friend, it was an unnecessary decision (for my course) but very necessary to me at the time. “French is not practical, there is no use” they said -Didn’t and does not matter. I took it and for the past few months on campus it has been one of the few classes I truly enjoy and actually feel like I’m learning something new and amazing. 

I won’t deny the fact that a subject only is as good as it’s lecturer. 

My lecturer, Mr Martial Daviaud is the quintessential Frenchman. All you hear him saying is ‘Non…’ ‘Oui oui oui..’ ‘C’est normal‘ ‘Ola la la‘ besides rapidly spoken French and ‘bonjour killy, ça va?’. That’s what I’m called, Killy. 

In the beginning of this sem, I went to talk to him, having had resolved that I shouldn’t continue my minor in French because it was getting harder. I was afraid I couldn’t cope. Fast forward, and I’ve been taking French as an elective -repeating level 2 because I wanted to make it for his class.

That is, until I found out he’s resigned and leaving for France by the end of this month.

As it was our last class, we gave him a gift and hung out in his office to say our goodbyes. I stayed longer after just cause I must let him know how wonderful his classes has been to me. Then he mentioned, the offer still stands if I was free to have lunch. Drawing a complete blank, he said he had proposed the idea back when I met him to drop the subject. Oh. But seriously? You want to have lunch with me? 

So we did, today and I brought my friend along as a precaution. It wasn’t necessary though, I know that good men commit crime and still waters run deep; but trust me on this – He’s a generally good person. Good company makes for a good meal. We talked about his past, his travels from Syria to how he met his wife when she was performing there as a ballerina. Later we had ice-cream and talked about movies from the 70’s, his political ideals and somehow went on to religious views. 

That was when I got to share about God. Its amazing how I didn’t expect it, but when the topic naturally progressed I just simply told him why I believed. Professeur had some questions and complicated theories about the bible, I couldn’t answer them all. But I did my best, atleast I had the chance. 

I asked him later, if he had asked anyone else to lunch -any of his students. He said in his 7 years in Malaysia, he’s never once invited another person for a meal before me. How honoured I felt. I know how prof is like, he said it himself that he’s pretty frank and doesn’t usually do things he doesn’t want to. So you can imagine how delighted I was. I don’t wish to put him on a pedestal or just because he’s foreign or nice or a Frenchman. I genuinely respect him for the educator that he has been, and as an individual with the way of life true to the French -then again, not all people are alike or trustworthy to be who they portray to be. I’m glad for this chance encounter.

Prof mentioned that he cared for all of us (platonic-ly), but he could talk to me because I was open-minded but also shy. He described himself as shy too, ironically -he knows. I preferred to be on my own he said. That’s true, French class was my escape. I love learning about a world elsewhere. The free and relaxed way of life, not chasing wealth or fame, not in a rush. Certainly not pushing our way through the rat race. Loving and letting it be a way of life. Just like him leaving Malaysia to be with his family that’s been in Russia for the past two months. La vie ne vaut d’être vécue sans amour.

Life is not worth living without love. 

There are two types of women I’ve gotten to know, one you speak for years but even without it is alright. And the other without, you stand in a room full of people but to you there is no one to speak to. It is empty. He says.

 

Z-Erh-Ah-N-Ah, Zaena is the name of his wife. Meticulous in character, a ballet meister, is about my size in physique, a mother to a twelve-year-old.

 

It’s been my pleasure to get to know you.

It’s been blooming

It might be the mixture of rain falling coolly outside my hostel window and just coming back from a bible reading session with a good friend, but I just feel like doing an update. Its like having piled up letters at your doorstep waiting to be opened. I have had little wonderful things happened lately that has added up and I’d like to open them up and read them to you.

Okay, where to begin. 

1. I’ve learnt my “ministry” (so to speak), as in what I feel is my calling to serve God in. And that is people. Where I am now, I am following up on two girls: a non-believer and a new believer. I struggled alot in the first semester and well, am still learning the ways to love (from God) the kind of love that does not tire from emotional or physical stresses. With them, I recently had to acknowledge the fact that I’ve been hurt from disappointments from past experiences with friends/family closest to myself that I’ve tried bringing closer to God on my own; Mainly how I felt I failed God, and sometimes them. But in the recent PKA camp, I heard the message and knew I had to let go because God is at work. I can only do my part.

2. Proper Follow-up. Its a long story of how we got to know one another, but basically this girl is from my hostel and I got to know of her because one of my friend in PKA was shared to by her. Yet we only met in a sequence of events that was really unique. So, this person I got a hold of, I went to see her because she had resources I’ve never had: Follow up material. And honestly Elaine and I have been talking about doing proper bible study type meetings with new/non believers that were interested -here I am getting the materials! The person passing it to me, and myself are both so encouraged by each other. This campus life is an amazing opportunity to reach out to others.

3. Elaine, my accountability partner. It took one prayer early in the first semester, during a Lantern prayer walk around campus -a deeply invested prayer about reaching out to our Muslim counterparts that prompted me to speak to her. I got to know her much more later on, a city girl; deeply involved with God, but someone speaking in the same wavelength as me. I took no time in telling her how much she reminded me of Sher, my mentor and deeply cherished friend. God thinks of everything, we’re from the same hostel and that made it so easy to always meet up so naturally we became accountability partners; to keep one another in check and make sure each was consistent in our path with Jesus. We’ve come a long way since first sem and we’re making more plans seeing as she feels extra love for (inwardly) broken people. 

4. Learning to listen to God. I guess I never really believed that normal people or just myself, could ever hear God’s audible voice. I always thought I wasn’t significant enough or ‘holy’ enough eventhough I did really want to hear Him. Being here and getting to know Elaine (and the way she walks with God) has changed that, I’ve decided that I want more in my relationship with God. And one is to hear God’s voice; be it in my heart/mind/spirit, audibly or not. Because in the Bible it says “My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me.” John 10:27 and “I will listen to what God the Lord says; he promises peace to his people, his faithful servants -but let them not turn to folly.” Psalm 85:8.

5. CG Intern. All along since back in Klang, I’ve wanted to serve God in the front line (as a leader) but somehow things didn’t work out -either I was in Formsix and my parents didnt allow or I chose poorly and went to work during the long break or I had been shipped off to Penang. Yet, even coming here I carried on the fact that I want to serve and the leadership here is called the Exco. Recently, my CG leader asked me if I was okay with being a Cell Group Intern for the next three months. I realized after that saying yes to this means passing on the opportunity of being in the coming Exco. Albeit, I got to talk to my sister for a short moment and related Exco as being more work-oriented (vision-casting, planning and executing) whereas CG is more people-oriented -and fits me perfectly. I never expected this opportunity and it felt wonderful knowing that God kept me in mind, that my CG leader surpassed another eligible member for me. 

6. In the midst of all these, is also other events and occasions in which I get to serve God in PKA. Such as song leading, being a part of committees (publicity for an event coming up!) and an emcee for a past Christmas event. Also, opportunities to meet other Christians outside of PKA from many backgrounds, and friends of other faiths that enrich and diversify my university life so greatly.

7. GBC. This is the current church that I’m going to in Penang, once the one I followed Mel (my sister) occasionally that now I’m putting my roots in. Elaine recently decided to join GBC, and we’ve been making good friends one by one in this growing family-type church. It honestly makes me feel at home because of how similar it is to church back in Klang. I miss it, and GBC allows me comfort on the day I find it hardest not to think of home. We have made plans to serve in the kitchen and I personally am involved in the coming Easter’s dance performance! To think I haven’t danced for church since my early teen years. 

8. The letting go. This is by far the least exciting to write. 
     I’ve been counting myself lucky -no, blessed, to have my sister around in Penang and other individuals I hold on to in my transiting life (back and forth Klang and Penang). However, Mel has recently revealed that her love for the island might have to come second to her need to be back in the city. And just like that, there forms a throbbing at the back of my mind -a reminder that sometimes God takes away things/ people we might have the tendency to hold a little too tight, a little too dearly. I know if I go on keeping someone in mind, it can be a distraction to what God has for me here -the plans for my life that I’ve been waiting for, for years. It’s been blooming here in this season of my life, and I’d like so much to share all this with you. But I am still working my way and I need to choose to go with this now. ”If any of you wants to be my follower, you must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross daily, and follow me.” Matthew 16:24. So I will put aside my plans.

 

I want to see the plans God has for my life, for now in USM to come to pass. And in that I decide to obey, to keep saying yes to Him. I am so excited for it, even if it means putting certain things I want so much on hold I trust that God loves me and wants to see me happy too. Because He has promised me such.

“May he grant your heart’s desires and make all your plans succeed.” Psalms 20:4
“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalms 37:4
“And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

And because I trust Him.

 

With that, I believe the adventure has just begun.

 

 

Lei