An empty house

Today I woke up in an empty house.

Many alarms -quietened-, a phone call and a car driving off as I watched from the landing of my house signalled the same thing, I woke up in an empty house.

I pulled out the stone cold butter to melt, the riped avocado for the cutting, positioned the toaster and nestled a bag of dried English Breakfast tea leaves in my mug.

In front of television watching the rerun of Gilmore Girls, I had my perfect morning. Two episodes and I was set. I cleaned up, tidied the beds upstairs and turned myself in to be framed for the day. The night shift was over.

“Some of my best thinking happens here”, someone once told me as she mentioned her cleaning and clearing up area. And I complimented her on her lovely latrine.

Thinking some of my best thoughts, of a blog post, of late last night’s conversations and of the new brothers and sister’s I’m to work with.. No wonder people my age go out to live on their own.

Two weeks since my return from uni for semester break and only today I have a clear mind. I have settled home. I’m not here and there physically or mentally, I am not wrestling with myself between work and being present with family or friends. I can now properly divide myself amongst my priorities because funnily, I have a sense of time again. This is my life I remember, I am used to coming back and forth but I can deal with my greediness for quality time and self-productivity one more.

Quiet, self-time makes one evaluate things.
I never used to make the beds. I hear my mother’s nag so clearly in my head and obey them now, sheep-like when she isn’t looking.
Do I show the people I care, just how much I truly care?
Does he like me? No, doesn’t seem likely.
I shouldn’t let their perceptions of me change how I would normally be around them.
I need to kick-start my writing career, bit by bit now
Human dignity, said the policeman in Portugal is to be kept at highest esteem

The self-time helps me be a better person, in turn helps me treat and value others better.
At 23, am I getting better?

lei