The stretch marks of love

There will be no one that replaces you.

In the bus leaving my homecity after 2 and a half days of an impromptu round trip back and all I truly need is to lean onto you in your embrace.
In a tipping point of my life, in a blooming phase of my life, all the more.
Why do I feel like there’s such a struggle to meet the needs, the standards of others. I’ve been a loyal friend, tried to always be present because I know that’s my best that I can offer and to be thoughtful. To love with every inch of my fibre.
When I can’t and I can’t meet that requirement (that I’ve set for myself and others come to expect of me), it really disappoints.
I want to be released from it, however it’s not that commitments and relationships don’t go through their strains.
I just want all of them to know this. How could you ever doubt I love you? I just need time. I just need a little space.

Yet I’m sorry if I ever think I’m more important than anything or anyone. I’m not.
I wrote this a few days prior, not knowing I’d find myself here.

– “The way of a Christian is not to insist on his or her own way.
The way of a Christian is sacrificial because our lives are to be sacrificial.
If we insisted on our terms, things happen according to our timing and our way which does no allign with the idea that we should always surrender to His plan.
The way of a Christian is giving in to others and making way for others, not being stepped on but righteously kowtowing because we are to be like Christ -humble in every way. Thinking of ourselves as nothing, but not insignificant.
And in all of these, our happiness is not relinquished or given up but our true fulfilment and joy comes from the Lord. ”

And truthfully my joy has come only from the Lord. The gift I’ve been given has been given from the Lord. Yes I’ve done my part and I am who I am, for who he loves is me. But I will never ever deny the goodness that He has really given me.

“Every good thing I have comes from the Lord.” Psalms 16

 
Trying.

lei